Most days I get up, shake off the nightmares, put on my game face and start my day.
Not today though. When you get to be over 50 you have to check and make sure all systems are a go in the morning.
I woke up today, my hands weren’t clenched, my shoulders weren’t up around my ears, there was no tenseness in my chest or stomach.
Hmmm.. am I sure I’m awake, I look in the mirror my eyes are open so I am awake.
I touch my arm gently and I can feel it, I feel the warmth of my arm in my hand and the gentle compression of my hand on my arm.
Hmmm.. I think my body feels relaxed today, not positive though it rarely feel as though I am alive and in my body.
I continue, I take a deep breathe and my chest moves up and down, the usual lump in my throat that makes me gasp for air is not there.
Now for the last test, am I present in the moment or a million miles a way with thoughts flying furiously like a hundred shooting stars?
One thought crosses my mind, it is a calm present day thought.
I am not a survivor!
Today I am just a person.
Not a victim, not a survivor, just me!
maggiejay64 