Tag Archives: post traumatic stress disorder

I Struggle…

I struggle to feel. I struggle to feel nothing. I struggle to feel something. I struggle to feel like everyone else. I struggle to feel like myself. I struggle to feel like I fit in. I struggle to feel special. … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, self harm, sexual abuse, substance abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Innocence Lost!

Simple Definition of innocence (Merriam-Webster) : the state of being not guilty of a crime or other wrong act : lack of experience with the world and with the bad things that happen in life When I stopped feeling guilty … Continue reading

Posted in anger, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The yelling drifted through the house…

My attempt at a short story … it does contain references to domestic violence and incest. The yelling drifted through the house. “Here we go again”, I said to my little brother. When he was six years old like me he … Continue reading

Posted in childhood trauma, family, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

angry scared, angry sad, angry mad!

Angry Scared Of course before angry scared came not angry. I went through life proudly stating that I never got angry. It was true I never felt anything and certainly not anger. I remember early in therapy trying to allow … Continue reading

Posted in anger, c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, family, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, self harm, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My brain is not working correctly!

My therapist and I have been working together for what seems to be forever. There is no doubt in my mind that I am in a healthy place today because of his help.  I find it so funny that what … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I wish I had answers. (could be triggering)

  I have almost come to accept the fact that I live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Despite spending the last thirty years trying to cure myself, I admit defeat, I can not cure it. I can only live with … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, self harm, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A conversation with my Dad, not at all what you think.

My brother was married two weeks ago and I did not attend the wedding. I struggled with whether or not I should attend from the time we received the invitation to about two hours before the wedding when I decided … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments