Tag Archives: childhood trauma

I Struggle…

I struggle to feel. I struggle to feel nothing. I struggle to feel something. I struggle to feel like everyone else. I struggle to feel like myself. I struggle to feel like I fit in. I struggle to feel special. … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, self harm, sexual abuse, substance abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh…the irony of it.

Since the seventh grade I have wanted to be a social worker.  I went to a workshop on child abuse for my health class and my brother (my perpetrator) was the police officer providing part of the workshop. Oh the … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Innocence Lost!

Simple Definition of innocence (Merriam-Webster) : the state of being not guilty of a crime or other wrong act : lack of experience with the world and with the bad things that happen in life When I stopped feeling guilty … Continue reading

Posted in anger, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

No need to wonder…

Three steps forward one step back. That is how my therapist describes it when I have a flare up of my PTSD. I can be doing fine and then suddenly, from what feels like out of the blue, I am … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The yelling drifted through the house…

My attempt at a short story … it does contain references to domestic violence and incest. The yelling drifted through the house. “Here we go again”, I said to my little brother. When he was six years old like me he … Continue reading

Posted in childhood trauma, family, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

angry scared, angry sad, angry mad!

Angry Scared Of course before angry scared came not angry. I went through life proudly stating that I never got angry. It was true I never felt anything and certainly not anger. I remember early in therapy trying to allow … Continue reading

Posted in anger, c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, family, feelings, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, self harm, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

All the things I wish I knew

I wish I knew how strong I could be My strength allowed me to give up my  place in my family for a belief in my own worth I wish I knew that love begins with self Years  spent trying … Continue reading

Posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments