I Hate PTSD!

It has been a year, maybe more, since I have written. I have forgotten how therapeutic  it can be. I also forget that there are many on the same path with me. Sometimes fighting this fight can be the loneliest of journeys. Sometimes i need to be reminded that when i say I hate living with PTSD… there are others out there need no more explanation  than that. They understand the pain, the darkness, the struggling, the wanting to just be calm.

I don’t know why  it has to go on forever. I try to out think it, out run it,name it I have tried it. And it still here i  am at 52 having a really bad day.

why you ask, i don’t know.

Maybe because when i was 3………  life was turned upside down and i have never been able to turn it back upright.






About maggiejay64

I am a 51 year old woman, who lives in NY state. I received my MSW in May 2013. I have worked with people with developmental disabilities for most of my life. I love working with this population and have learned countless lessons from the people with whom I have been privileged to work. In Jan 2014 I received my LMSW and am currently working at a counselor in a Outpatient substance abuse facility. One of my greatest challenges in life is the fact that I lived through incest and the hell that followed. It took forty some years but today I can say I have come out on the other side..... mostly intact.
This entry was posted in c-ptsd, childhood trauma, complex ptsd, healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, mental health, mental illness, ptsd, sexual abuse, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I Hate PTSD!

  1. Jason@Solace says:

    Thanks for writing. Trauma and abuse are devastating. I’m an adult survivor of child abuse and it’s been a long journey. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Hoping today is better Maggie… and yes, I understand. There is community in knowing and you are not alone. Surviving such things in childhood puts challenges in front of us that others do not understand, Part of the challenge is providing ourselves extra support, softness and encouragement. On those ‘bad’ days maybe have a list ready of things to do for yourself that can give some relief and comfort?

  3. manyofus1980 says:

    i hear ya, i have ptsd too and did and am a csa survivor, sending you hugs and much love, xo

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